someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
