why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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