super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
