i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
