mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
