Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
