Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
