why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
