drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
