Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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