Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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