Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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