I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
