I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
