Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
two words: eviction party
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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