i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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