11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Randomize
