it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
