Im at strip club and am horny
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
