Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
you had me at cake vodka
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
