dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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