I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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