You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize