My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
