We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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