I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
