My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
