he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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