i jhust puked up my retainher.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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