My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Duck Duck Cougar?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
