You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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