He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize