I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
ttyl tear gas
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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