you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
