so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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