we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
