she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
