I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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