well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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