I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
