She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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