my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
