i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
