put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize