So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
