a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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