Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
