i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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