capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
So vagazzling was a success
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
