People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
