i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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