My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
