I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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