if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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