eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
