i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
