I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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