So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
