i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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