It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
