So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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