She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
you didnt know i had herpes?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
