mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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