I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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