just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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