Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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